What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

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Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

What is your analysis of Walter White from Breaking Bad?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Make Nazis afraid again!

Why are white women dating more black guys than ever?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

TEXT:

My cantankerous beagle is very badly behaved at the dog park and always starts barking at the other dogs. Would pepper spray be an effective method to correct his inappropriate behavior?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

What methods do private investigators use to investigate someone in real life?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Why do guys look up TikTok girls instead of porn? My boyfriend of two years, looks up big boobs on TikTok. He has never once cheated on me, not on social media or IRL. He claims it’s to “get off real quick if I’m not home.”

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

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After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

If a person stops thinking one or two words in a second or half second means he had stopped thinking for half second?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

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Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

From 1 to 10, how dark is the Naruto fandom? Why?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!